Control Anxiety

Recognizing Symptoms of a Person Suffering from Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can manifest itself in the sufferer as either a temporary or habitual condition. It is the ones with the habitual condition that cause the most concern. Those with the habitual condition who continually practice self-talk that reflects an internally low self-opinion. This same person's low self-esteem condition has probably been occurring for several years too. Finding a solution to a person's low self-esteem involves first identifying the problem. Therapists will look for certain key symptoms in diagnosing low self-esteem.

Probably the most profound symptom that a person has a problem with low self-esteem is when he or she consistently throws insults at self. Even if someone genuinely compliments this person, he or she refuses to accept it. Negative self-talk leads a person to either do or not do things that will reinforce their low self-esteem. For example, the person who constantly complains of being unattractive because of weight will do little to try and change the condition. Dealing with a weight problem can be a lot of work and the journey can be plagued with setbacks. The thought of these setbacks is too much for this person to handle when he or she is under the burden of low self-esteem. The end result is that this person would rather live in their safe world of being overweight.

Another indicator of low self-esteem is when the person is an extreme perfectionist. This symptom is especially problematic because the sufferer will kick himself or herself for every little mistake made. Since none of us live in a perfect world, mistakes are inevitable. Therefore this person with esteem problems will be throwing the self-insults practically every day. The perfectionist cannot handle criticism well either--even constructive criticism.

Highly-addictive behavior is another symptom of a possible low self-esteem case. Since these people live in an unhappy world, getting that temporary thrill offered by addictions is what they seek. Addictive behavior can include alcoholism, drugs, gambling, affairs, unrestrained spending, and anything else that is damaging to the person in the long run. This actually indicates that the person is not entirely risk-aversive. However it is an indicator that if the thrill caused by addictive behavior is quick and requires little work, this person will jump at it in order to get some relief from his or her unhappiness.

Those with low self-esteem oftentimes are very hard workers. Working long hours can be a symptom of a person trying to avoid social interaction. Those suffering from low self-esteem are sometimes not very assertive and have difficulty saying "no" to those who want to abuse their availability and willingness to work hard. We call them "yes people" but in reality they have underlying low self-esteem and would not dare stand up to someone working them unfairly. On the other hand, they may voluntarily hide themselves in their work to avoid going to that dinner party or social function with their spouse. Hiding in their work is "safe."

Sabotaging one's own success could be another symptom of low self-esteem. These are people who almost made it but did something to make sure it never happened right before it did. They are bridge burners. They will be considered for promotion and then fly off the handle at the boss or just quit their job.